Debt Elimination Success Seminar
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Section 1
A Look at Debt
History of Debt
Credit Card History
Current State of Debt
How You Got Into Debt
Good Debt Bad Debt
Business vs. Personal Debt
Section 2 Dealing With Your Money
The Two Step Plan
Doing The Two-Step
Step One
Step Two
The Paths Out of Debt
1- Create a Debt Payment Plan
2- Neogtiate Better Rates & Terms
a.Consolidation Loans
b.Consumer Credit Counseling Services
3- Negotiate Lump-Sum Settlements
4- Bankruptcy
5- The Easy Way
6- Win $1,000,000
Living Debt-Free
Manage Your Money
Make More Money
Save Money
SameMoney-MoreFun
Stay Debt-Free
You as a Business
Section 3 Dealing With Your Creditors
Alerts/Scams
The Credit Industry
Credit Industry
The Fine Print
The Secondary Debt Market
The Debt Collection Process
Original Creditor
The Charge-Off
Collection Agency
Legal Problems
Dirty Creditor Tricks
Dealing with Debt Collectors
Dealing with Debt Collectors
Statute of Limitations
Cease and Desist Letter
Section 4
The Credit Report
The Credit Report
Credit Score
Credit Repair
Section 5
Dealing With Yourself
The Critical Factor
The Art of Prosperity
The End of Failure
Prosperity Coaching
Section 6
Kids and Money
Kids and Money
How to Pay for College
Section 7
Debt Information
Bookstore
Debt Facts
Radio Show
Resources
About Us
Privacy Policy
Site Map
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Prosperity Coaching |
Host: Tom Allen
Guest: Paula Langguth Ryan
Segment 4
I’m Tom Allen, and I hate debt. I invite you to make the decision today to join with me in living a debt-free and prosperous life. To finally remove yourself from debt and to firmly place yourself in a lifestyle of prosperity requires that you have a healthy relationship with money. Paula Ryan, author of "Bounce Back from Bankruptcy" and artofabundance.com, has healed her relationship with money, and can help you heal yours too. Paula, why do we need to think in terms of having a relationship with money?
Paula: Because money is one of our primary relationships; it’s something we interact with every single day. It’s like having a wife, a husband, or kids.
Tom: Except that you can get away from the husband or wife or kids for a while.
Paula: No you can’t. They’re always with you. (laughs) You can get away from your money too!
Tom: I guess you can!
Paula: Before I tell you about the seven commitments, you brought up the “comfortable with giving” thing, and my newest book, that’s actually coming out in November, is called “Giving Thanks”. It’s about the art of tithing but talks about tithing from a completely different perspective than financial. It talks about six ways to tithe, only one of which is financial.
Tom: Interesting!
Paula: You can actually get a free advance copy of the first draft, available as an e-book—the whole 168 pages.
Tom: I bet you can find that at artofabundance.com?
Paula: Yes, and it’s available in English and in Spanish.
Tom: Wonderful. Let’s talk a little bit about what you do: how you counsel people and what type of great information we can find at artofabundance.com.
Paula: I don’t just do prosperity work; I do performance and success coaching too. A lot of it ties in with prosperity because, for example, one of my clients is an Olympic athlete and so fundraising was a big event. I have sales people, executives, that sort of thing. I have artists, Broadway stars, who use my work because your relationship with money ties in to your ability to create what you want in life. You’re always turning down good in one way or another. So that’s why another free thing I have is my free e-book, “Healing Your Relationship with Money.”
Tom: We have all kinds of free stuff there!
Paula: I love to give away free stuff on my website. That’s my thing: my commitment is to help people create the lives they truly want.
Tom: Artofabundance.com.
Paula: I even have a free newsletter, Tom! (laughs) You can get all kinds of free stuff! Come on down!
Tom: Well there’s no excuse, then, for not going to artofabundance.com and getting some free information.
Paula: That’s right. But now I want to give you the seven commitments to healing your relationship with money.
Tom: Let’s do that. Number one and two.
Paula: Number one is “I’m committed to healing my relationship with money.” It’s like getting out of debt—make the commitment. “I’m going to do this.”
Tom: Make the commitment, okay.
Paula: Number two is “I’m committed to clearing up anything that stands in the way of healing my relationship with money.” That means “I’m willing to stop being defensive, stop defending my position, and start just taking action.”
Tom: So don’t be so concerned with being right…
Paula: Right, or worry about what anybody thinks. “This is what I need to do: I need to get rid of this block, of this crap, I just need to move forward and clean up my relationship with money.”
Tom: Excellent.
Paula: And number three is “I’m committed to my own complete development as a financially independent individual.” That means, “I’m not going to allow other people to bale me out.” There’s a difference between someone giving you something and you manipulating someone to bale you out.
Tom: I see.
Paula: Like constantly talking like “Oh, my kids aren’t going to have shoes, this horrible thing happened, I never have money…”
Tom: So you don’t want to run a guilt trip on them.
Paula: No. Instead you say, “I’m responsible for this. I’m committed to this.”
Tom: That is so important, because we must take responsibility. Again, even if we got in debt because of circumstances that weren’t technically our responsibility, like if we had an automobile accident, or if we had a good job and were being financially responsible and got laid off… No matter what the cause, it is our responsibility, and by taking responsibility, we are more likely to get out of debt quicker.
Paula: Yes. And number four is the one people have a real hard time with. If you are ever on a plane, and you want the person next to you to shut up, ask them how much money they make.
Tom: (laughs) Or how much credit card debt they have.
Paula: Yeah, but they’ll talk to you about sex all the time! Number four is “In my relationship with money, I’m committed to revealing myself, to not concealing myself.”
Tom: “Committed to revealing myself, to not concealing myself.” Now is this to others, or more importantly to being honest with ourselves?
Paula: Both. But I think it’s actually easier for people to be honest with themselves than it is for them to be honest with another person. To say, “Look, that’s not in my budget this month.” “That’s not where I’m going to spend my money.”
Tom: I guess it would be interesting, much like the twelve step program, when someone would say, “Hi, I’m Tom and I’m an alcoholic”, it’d be interesting if we walked up to somebody and said, “Hey, I’m Tom and I’m $10,000 in credit card debt.”
Paula: Exactly! “And I’m getting out of debt.”
Tom: There you go. What’s next?
Paula: Number five is “I’m committed to the full financial empowerment of people around me.” Ninety percent of the people I’ve talked to that have gotten into debt have done so because they’ve helped somebody else. And then they helped them out again. And then they helped them out again. They decided, “Okay, I’ll help that person pay off their credit card, or I’ll let them use my credit card, or I let them use my car and they got in an accident.” This is not about not helping people do things, but it’s about helping them to take full financial responsibility for themselves. So stop baling your kids out; let them figure out how to handle money. I have a client who was horribly in debt but making a wonderful living. We went through her finances. She was like, “I don’t understand why my 20-something sons can’t get on their feet.” Well, she was paying each of them over $35,000 a year. No wonder they couldn’t hold down a job! What was the point of holding down a job when mom was giving them $35,000 a year?
Tom: No real incentive.
Paula: None whatsoever. Mom would always bale them out.
Tom: I would say my in experience, and I’ve had quite frankly some personal experience in this, is that parents want to shield their children from pain. But if you don’t learn how to have a healthy relationship with money, you’re going to have much more pain in the long run than dealing with an incident when you’re younger. Better to have a big financial problem like you did when you were 21, and learn how to master it and go on with your life in a healthy way, than to have something fester in you for years and years.
Paula: Yes, and if you want to leave a legacy to your children, share with them what’s going on financially with your life so that they don’t make the same mistakes. Get everyone together and say, “Here’s what we’ve got coming in. Let’s make some decisions about what we as a family want to do with this money.” And get people talking about it together. Be honest and real with it so kids don’t get side-swiped with “How come all of a sudden I can’t go to that school or have those shoes or whatever?” Be real about it.
Tom: Just don’t say, “Hey, we can’t afford it.”
Paula: Yeah, “Quit bugging me about it. Am I made out of money?” That sort of thing. Number six is “I’m committed to acting out of the awareness that I am 100% responsible for and the source of the current state of my finances.” No more blaming anyone else. You mentioned, “I had this great job and got laid off.” Okay, wasn’t there a part of you that didn’t want to be working there anymore? How many times did you ever complain about that job? You put that energy out there and the job went bye-bye, so you can step up to what it was you say you really want to be doing.
Tom: The nice part about being 100% responsible for your debts is that it also empowers you to know that you are 100% responsible for your abundance.
Paula: Yes, absolutely!
Tom: Because if you’re not responsible for your debts, you’re not responsible for your abundance either.
Paula: Right, so it can come and go just as easily.
Tom: And next?
Paula: Number seven is my absolute favorite: “I’m committed to having a good time in my relationship with money.”
Tom: “A good time in my relationship with money.” Paula, I think that’s so important. One of the things I like to talk about, and I do this in a dual way, is that you must learn to have a good time, and you can do that with or without money.
Paula: Yes, and you can do it with your debts. Just have a good time paying off your debts; make a game out of it.
Tom: Make a game out of it.
Paula: Yes, see how quickly you can beat the creditors at their own game. Quit paying interest, get it all paid off, go enjoy your life, and every time someone offers you credit, laugh at them! Which is what I do.
Tom: (laughs) Well, it pays to have a good sense of humor. Paula, I really appreciate you being with us here today. Your book, “Bounce Back From Bankruptcy”, is an important guide for anybody who is about to or has recently filed bankruptcy. Artofabundance.com has a wealth of information, a lot of it is free, and you are just a source of inspiration to all of us who are wanting to get out of debt.
Paula: So are you, Tom! Thank you so much for everything you do for consumers. It’s just awesome.
Tom: In 20 seconds, what would be your one piece of advice for those who are in debt and wanting to change their lives?
Paula: Just keep moving forward, keep paying something to somebody every day, and start forgiving anybody who you think owes you in any way, financially or otherwise.
Tom: Forgive others and forgive yourself.
Paula: Amen!
Tom: Be healthy and move on. Paula Ryan, thank you very much again for being here. I Hate Debt is made possible by its sponsors and by contributions from listeners like you. I Hate Debt is not designed to substitute for qualified financial or legal advice, but to motivate you to take control of your finances, to get out of and to stay out of debt. For more information on getting out of debt, visit IHateDebt.com. I’m Tom Allen, and I hate debt!
Paula Ryan
Heal Your Relationshiip With Money
If you find this information helpful I ask you to contribute $1 (or more) to help me help more people. You can contribute using PayPal using this button
Or you can mail in your contribution.